What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
