I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
