Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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