quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize