Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
