So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
