***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
