nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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