I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
