You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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