good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
