Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
