all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
