I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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