the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
