yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
