Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
