I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
