it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
