false alarm. still invincible.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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