What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
