We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize