You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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