I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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