Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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