Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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