By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
