I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
