worst night to have a conscience
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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