ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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