Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
