Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
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Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
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I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
me + whiskey = a bad person
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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