You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
