I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize