My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
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