my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
