I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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