who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
