I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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