Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
