Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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