i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Congratulations! We have a period
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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