I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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