oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
