I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
