I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
