i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
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you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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