I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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