She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
4 words: hood of his car
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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