At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
