The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
