3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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