Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
