she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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