hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
