sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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