By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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