Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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