Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
