Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
