I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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