life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
