maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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