If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
my sisters under your porch take her home
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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