Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
