I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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