I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We're too hungover to prance.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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