i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
