your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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