Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
