Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
should my penis look like a turkey
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
