Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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